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Like I say it every time, being a Ugandan is a full time
job. To be honest with you, I sow this letter coming but, number seven (7) rule
caught me unaware. For the soup to remain hot and testy, I decided not to edit
to clean on the language just for you to enjoy it row like I did. Now! Being that
cool guy next door, I decided to share this with you. Kindly enjoy your ride… Lol
Dear Kampala friend it's me Amajohns,
Village rules haven't changed. Please take note and follow
them religiously as you come for Christmas. I am writing to you on behalf of
the Rural People of Uganda. (RPU)
1. Stop pointing at our chicken with your car keys
2. Stop your nonsense of drinking soda and leaving it
halfway.
3. Stop pulling out your smartphones and recording us for
likes and comments mbu you are content creators.
4. We have agreed that you will not be served first at
functions. You will line up with rest of us.
5. Let your kids do work and play with village kids. Those
things of my kids even in Kampala don’t fetch water stopped long ago #Bomboclat
6. Don’t make people who arrived early in church leave their
seats for you. Go early for church. Ladies, your noise-making high heels also
annoy in church. You cause unnecessary attention
7. Slay queens, if you don’t have decent clothes, stay in
your Kampala. We don’t want to see the deep dark valley between your buttocks.
Save us the abomination.
8. You bring small things and you want to carry a two
seasons harvest back to Kampala. No.
9. I fear out. Escort me to the latrine. We shall be looking
at you from the corners of our eyes. Nga for us we never meet the ghosts you
are scared of.
10. When you reach your villages, take pictures and post the
same way you do when hanging out in Kampala’s cool places. Make our villages
proud.
Yesssssss! How did you find this piece? Let me know what you
think. Kindly leave your comment down in the comments section below.
